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About Us

Welcome to Polytine: We're Basically a Support Group for Your Personality.

Let's be real. Most of your personality is currently being used to remember your wifi password and to pretend you're listening in meetings. That's where we come in. Polytine is not a clothing company; we are a federally unapproved, non-certified provider of Personality Supplements™, printed on 100% cotton.

Our mission is simple: to say the things you're thinking but are too busy (or too employed) to say yourself. Each of our tees is a carefully crafted, deeply profound thought that probably came to someone in the shower. We believe your torso shouldn't just be a place to put your head; it should be a billboard for your inner monologue.

Are you the friend who brings snacks but also emotional chaos? There's a tee for that.

Do you feel a deep,spiritual connection to your couch? We have that in writing.

Do you want to confuse strangers with surreal,artisanal nonsense like "I Befriended a Squirrel and Now The Government is After Us"? You've come to the right place.

We use fabric so soft, it feels like a hug from a ghost who has its life together. Our prints are so vibrant, they’ll still be visible long after your will to live on a Monday morning. This isn't fast fashion; this is fast comedy for your chest.

So go ahead. Browse our collection. Give your personality the upgrade it desperately needs. Because in a world full of basic outfits and even more basic conversations, your t-shirt should be the funniest person in the room. And if it's not? Well, that's a you problem. But we're here to help.


Polytine: Wear the Weird.